"A sharp script by Michael Ross Albert and top-notch direction by Paolo Santalucia transforms ‘The Bidding War’ into a hilarious farce filled with witty remarks and sharp insults flung back and forth with brutish finesse. The production wisely goes beyond just humour. The unravelling plot in the second act resonates deeply with anyone who has experienced bidding wars for homes."

Set in Toronto’s last affordable house for sale, June (Veronica Hortiguela), an artist burdened by her "baggage of troubles," has recently returned from Germany. She stops by the house she has just put on the market. Sam (Peter Fernandes) has been hired to handle the sale and is busy preparing and coordinating with other agents and potential buyers.

Sam has recently received his realtor status, having been trained by actor/realtor Greg (Sergio Di Zio). Greg is actively working to secure the house for his clients, a gay couple named Ian (Steven Sutcliffe) and Donovan (Izad Etemadi).

Aurora Browne is Blayne, a cocksure realtor who uses her intelligence and looks to get what she wants from the house. Fiona Reid is Miriam, a nosy, busybody retired schoolteacher. Gregory Prest and Amy Matysio are Luke and his pregnant wife, Lara, who looks like she is about to give birth anytime soon. Charlie (Gregory Waters), the YouTube hunky trainer with bulging muscles, is interested in purchasing the house to showcase his online presence. Sophia Walker is smartly dressed realtor Patricia, who has some skeletons in her closet.

What is supposed to be a routine open house turns into a bidding war where everything runs amok. Agents turn on buyers; buyers turn on agents, and there’s even a somewhat unprofessional sexual dalliance going on in the house underneath everyone’s noses.

It’s a three-quarter theatre in the round setting in the Guloien. Co-set designers Ken Mackenzie and Sim Suzer have gorgeously recreated an uber-looking très chic main floor combined kitchen and living room in the first act. Upstage left is a set of stairs to the second level. The backyard is through a sliding door upstage right. There’s a door leading to the basement up centre stage. In the second act, there is a sitting area in the backyard.

Christian Horoszczak's lighting design effectively captures the warm and inviting sunlight of a late summer or early fall day. Laura Delchiaro has chosen comfortable and stylish clothing, which provides a subtle hint about each character's backstory. Olivia Wheeler makes a wise decision in selecting pre-show music that mimics a radio station that underscores in the background as potential buyers enter and exit the house.

The challenge behind the play's farcical elements lies in maintaining a swift plot without falling into annoying shouting and chaos. Director Paolo Santalucia expertly avoids this pitfall. In the first act, there is a lot of action, which becomes uproarious but still remains manageable. Sergio Di Zio, credited as the Fight Captain, is crucial in overseeing the action. He ensures the actors' safety while also providing a sense of realism during intense moments.

The script is solid because Michael Ross Albert aptly comments on the ruthlessness of bidding wars. In Act 2, he confronts head-on how the chosen profession of a realtor is demanding. At one point, there’s mention of David Mamet’s ‘Glengarry Glen Ross’, where that story details the brutal infighting and backbiting involved in buying and selling houses. In Mamet’s tale, friendships and relationships are put to the test.

Both Santalucia and Albert recognize that a similar ‘dog eat dog’ mentality of buying and selling real estate in Mamet’s play is also present here in Canada. In his Director’s Programme Note, Santalucia writes: “the desires of each character reflect a collective struggle – one where the ‘Canadian’ dream [of home ownership] is punctured while no longer [being] the promise of security and prosperity it once was.”

Some smashing performances and moments made me laugh out loud many times.

As Sam, Peter Fernandes is a teddy bear of a believable guy who wants to succeed in the cutthroat world of buying and selling real estate. Fiona Reid’s peculiar dottiness as Miriam makes her one-line zingers even more effective. Sergio Di Zio is a nice guy as realtor Greg, who wants only the best for his clients Ian and Donovan. However, (quick spoiler alert here), Di Zio sticks his tongue out at an aghast Sophia Walker in the second act, sending me and a few audience members around into much laughter.

I’m trying not to spoil the plot here. However, the gradual interaction between Aurora Browne’s cutthroat Blayne and Gregory Waters’ boy toy Charlie, let’s say, becomes an eye-opener that raised my eyebrows in astonishment. It’s another fine example of the absurd, farcical nature behind the play.

Amy Matysio looks as if she is going to give birth at any moment. Her waddling up and down the stairs and being pulled out of a chair by Gregory Prest remains a hoot. Steven Sutcliffe and Izad Etemadi are adorable as Ian and Donovan. They sometimes appear to finish each other’s sentences because they know what the other is always thinking. Ian and Donovan also get caught up in the broad comic melee of the action. Again, I don’t want to spoil what happens to Sutcliffe and Etemadi. However, (and I know it’s not funny, but the audience, including me, couldn’t help but not laugh out loud), Sutcliffe’s appearance at the top of Act 2 is one of those moments worth the ticket price. Again, it's pure comic gold.

Final Thought: Sometimes, it’s okay to forget about the divisions in the world we know at this time and go see a play and have one hell of a good laugh.

That’s therapeutic for the soul.

‘The Bidding War’ is one of those moments.

Go and see it.

Running time: approximately two hours and 15 minutes with one intermission.

‘The Bidding War’ runs until December 19 in the Guloien Theatre at Streetcar Crowsnest, 345 Carlaw Avenue, Toronto. For tickets: crowstheatre.com or call (647) 341-7390.

CROW’S THEATRE presents a Crow’s Theatre Commission
THE BIDDING WAR by Michael Ross Albert
Directed by Paolo Santalucia

Ken Mackenzie - Co-Set Designer
Sim Suzer - Co-Set Designer
Laura Delchiaro - Costume Designer
Christian Horoszczak - Lighting Designer
Olivia Wheeler - Sound Designer
Anita Nittoly - Fight Director / Intimacy Director
Sam Hale - Stage Manager
Anna Spencer - Assistant Stage Manager
ciaran brenneman - Apprentice Stage Manager

Performers: Aurora Browne, Sergio Di Zio, Izad Etemadi, Peter Fernandes, Veronica Hortiguela, Amy Matysio, Fiona Reid, Gregory Prest, Steven Sutcliffe, Sophia Walker, Gregory Waters